I haven't posted much in the past month. I've been really tired. Our streak of beating the odds continues. A month ago I had sharp pain in my ribs, which turned out to be that my ribs were out of place due to nursing. That is actually a pretty common issue. They ran a few tests just to make sure it was just my ribs (which it was). In the process though, they discovered something else. I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, the medical term for heart failure. There is a rare condition (I can't do math anymore. I originally thought it was 0.04%, but it's 1/4000, so it's actually 0.025% of live births) where the mother's heart fails either during the last month of pregnancy or during the first six months after giving birth. This happens in women who have no history of heart conditions and are otherwise perfectly healthy. It's called peripartum (or postpartum) cardiomyopathy. Because it is so unexpected, this condition is often discovered because the mother has a heart attack, stroke, or pulmonary embolism (blot clot in their lungs).

Only 20% of patients diagnosed with cardiomyopathy live longer than 2 years after the diagnosis. That being said, about 80% of those diagnosed are over the age of 80 and not in great health anyway. The statistics for peripartum cardiomyopathy are a bit better; studies show 50-75% of patients live longer than 2 years. I figure my chances are significantly higher because they discovered it before I had a heart attack or stroke. Plus, the studies I found on this condition were performed in places like Haiti and South Africa, neither of which I would choose to go to for medical treatment, so I think having better medical care improves my chances as well.

My case is relatively mild, although my cardiologist says mild isn't really a term that is compatible with heart failure; it's like saying I have a mild case of cancer. The type of cardiomyopathy that I have is called dialated cardiomyopathy. The heart weakens, so it expands, then it takes more work for it to pump, so it weakens more and expands more. Since they caught my case so early, my heart hasn't actually expanded at all yet. Because of this, my cardiologist is optimistic that we will be able to reverse the condition with medication.

He started me on beta blockers the day they discovered the condition. Basically, beta blockers slow down your heart, which allows the heart a chance to rest more and get stronger. They had to start me on a really low dose, but they've moved me up pretty quickly. As of next weekend, I'll be at the dose they want me at. If these meds don't work, they can try ACE inhibitors. If those don't work, a pacemaker is an option. If that doesn't work, they can try a heart transplant. I don't think we'll get anywhere near that though. I'm betting the beta blockers work.

They make me really tired though as my body isn't getting the oxygen it usually would. I constantly feel like I'm getting over a sinus infection or something; I'm wiped out and my muscles and joints sort of hurt. It could be a lot worse though. At least I'm not in the hospital :) I'm not excited about being tired and having to spend a significant portion of my time resting . . . again. I got more than enough of that with the 10 months of bedrest over the past 2.5 years. On the plus side, we certainly know how to function with me not up and around like I want to be!

We told the kids that my heart isn't working right and that I am taking medicine to fix it. I don't think it's necessary to scare them needlessly. If it gets worse, we'll figure out what to tell them at that point.

This is not going to kill me. We have decided that me dying in the next two years doesn't work for us. I have things I still need to do with my life. I am grateful for the opportunity to streamline my life and figure out what's really important to me. This has really increased my ability to appreciate the people I am blessed to have in my life. It has also provided me with the chance to understand what it's like to be diagnosed with a serious illness, which I'm sure will help me empathize with future clients who are dealing with a similar issue. This experience will be a blessing. An annoying one, but definitely a blessing :)