Recent Happenings

July has been pretty low key, but there have definitely been some highlights. We try to go swimming every Monday and get Sonic shakes afterwards. We've been rained out the last two weeks, but we really need rain, so we don't want to complain too much about it. I miss swimming, but I love the rain :)

I think the biggest news is that I heard back about my MFT exam results . . . I PASSED!!!! I was told the results would be sent to the state on July 14th, so I assumed I wouldn't find out whether I passed or not until the state received the scores and sent out something to notify me. The company that runs the test apparently sent out letters stating if the applicant passed or failed (I still don't know what my score was) before they sent the results to the state. I got my letter on Thursday, but we forgot to get the mail that day. Rob brought the mail in the next morning as he was leaving for work and he discovered the letter. He opened it and came running upstairs to wake me up (I am NOT a morning person and sleep in whenever possible). Being suddenly awoken to your husband bouncing around the bedroom is a bit confusing. It took me a minute or two to understand what he was saying and react appropriately. I passed. The last major hurdle and I did it. We still have to wait for everything to be processed and for my license to be issued, but I've done it :)

I know I jumped ahead a bit with that news, so let me backtrack . . .

As usual, we watched the fireworks on the 3rd. We always go to the same place that's out of the way so we get to see the fireworks, but don't get stuck in traffic afterwards. This was Laura's first year watching them. She wasn't a huge fan of the noise, but eventually she got used to it and she let Megan uncover her ears so she could turn around and watch.

Bret and Kora invited us over for the 4th. It was perfect for us as it gave us a chance to get out of the house, but I could take it easy. They rented a bounce house with a huge slide that they turned into a water slide. The kids ate something when we got there, then the older five escaped to the backyard and we didn't see them again until it was time to set off fireworks. Megan said it was the best 4th of July ever :)

I didn't get our traditional photo of all of us in flag shirts, but I managed to get a photo of the kids.

Rob finally decided on my graduation present . . . a new Cricket. A couple of years after we were married we found a little black kitten who became my baby. We named him Cricket because he was tiny and black and jumped around all over the place. He grew into a huge cat that looked more like a panther than a Cricket and had a personality the size of a panther. He and I always had a special connection. He died when I was pregnant with Kylie. We got Max, but I never really connected to Max the way I had connected to Cricket. When Jack was a baby we ended up with another little black kitten. The name Cricket fit him and he was Cricket II. I didn't get as close to him as I had to the original Cricket, but he was my cat. He died this past New Years Eve. We weren't planning on ever getting another Cricket, but it came up a few weeks ago and it felt right. Rob said he saw my eyes light up and that hasn't happened much lately. We went out to a shelter the next day.

I knew who my new cat was the instant I saw him. He looks just like the other two Crickets, but is more like the first Cricket than I thought possible. He is feisty and spunky and sweet and more than a bit crazy. Like me I guess :) We had a special connection from the first time I saw him. He sleeps on my neck like the first Cricket did and gives me kisses and sleeps next to me at night. He steals my food and won't take no for an answer and bounces all over the place attacking nothing, just to bounce. He loves the kids. They carry him around everywhere and make things for him. He is the first animal I've seen that actually uses the things made for him. The kids made him a little bed out of a clementine box and a towel and he loves it. That means so much to the kids and they love him :) He even curls up with Laura when she takes naps. He makes me smile :)

Something else that makes me smile is the office I'll be using. It's not technically MY office as I'm not paying rent, but I'll be using it most of the time. There is one other therapist who uses it one day a week, but it's mostly mine. I picked out all the furniture, but used items already in the office for the walls and bookshelves. I'll have to find the perfect pictures and decorations slowly :) I love the way it turned out! Old fashioned and professional :) Plus I really wanted it to blue. Blue seems really calming to me and it's the color of the ocean.

Heart Update

This is a hard post to write. It's taken me a couple of weeks to get to the point that I could.

I had a cardiologist appointment a few weeks ago, primarily to see if the EECP treatments made any difference. They didn't. I am just about exactly where I was when I was diagnosed 15 months ago. I got much worse last summer and they managed to get me back to where I had originally been, but no progress beyond that has been made. We asked the cardiologist what my prognosis was at this point. He said that in his experience, if I haven't shown any improvement by this point, I never will.

According to my cardiologist, this is the equivalent of being told I have stage one cancer, but it's not responding to treatment. It is still a relatively mild case of cardiomyopathy. It doesn't really matter how mild it is though if they can't do anything about it. That just means I'll probably have a longer time before it gets to a critical point. No idea how long that will be.

It seems so weird to type this up. I feel as if it couldn't possibly be true. I spoke to a friend recently who is dealing with some pretty heavy medical stuff with some of his family members. He made the comment that things weren't really as bad as they sounded. I remarked that in my experience, it never seems real. Until you tell people what's going on and see the looks on their faces. I think I respond to that more strongly than others might as I read people for a living. I can tell most of the time what people are thinking.

I'm sorry that we've pretty much disappeared from everything. I appreciate all the help we've been offered. I'm so grateful we are surrounded by friends who love us and want to help. Unfortunately the help offered makes us realize all over again what's going on. We're not trying to be rude. We just can't quite deal with it yet ourselves. 

We aren't giving up. My cardiologist is referring me to a heart failure specialist in Dallas, one that he sends his hopeless cases to, the patients that need heart transplants. He says we have a head start as I'm not there yet. We may get to that point, but only about 50% of patients even survive the surgery, so that is a last ditch effort.

We've decided that as western medicine hasn't helped, we're adding eastern medicine to the mix. I'm continuing to go to the cardiologist and take my medications, but I am now seeing an acupuncturist twice a week, my chiropractor twice a month, and I'm working with a master herbalist as well. The acupuncture has improved my energy levels a bit and helped me to sleep better. She says she can treat my symptoms, but that it doesn't heal things like failing hearts. The chiropractor is using pressure points on my back to stimulate healing or something like that. The master herbalist gave me a more natural substitute for lasix, which I developed a sensitivity to. My cardiologist told me only to take the lasix when I absolutely needed to due to my reactions to it. Hopefully this herb will help replace it. The herbalist also had me start taking two other herbs that help the heart to heal. I'm having a bit of trouble adjusting to one of them (cayenne), but I'm working on increasing my dose.

We recognize where that means we are. I've heard of acquaintances who were diagnosed with major illnesses and I remember what I thought when their treatments didn't work and they turned to alternative treatments. I'm trying to figure out how to balance reality with hope and right now that's a hard balance to find. One moment I'll be in a place where I know I can beat this; where I refuse to give up and I'm willing to try anything as I know there must be an answer somewhere. The next moment I start thinking about what I need to realistically do to prepare for where this will probably go. I don't know how I'll ever be ok with writing my children letters for Rob to keep "just in case" or talking about who I want as pall bearers.

I hope and believe that I will recover from this somehow. It gives me an amazing view into what it's like for people to go through being diagnosed with a chronic or terminal illness; one that I don't think I ever would have understood if I hadn't experienced it on my own. I'm hoping that this is just another thing that I get to go through so I can understand and help my clients. If that is the case, I don't ever want to forget what this feels like. If it isn't, maybe this will help someone someday.

Laney Knowlton, MS

As of Friday, June 13, I have officially finished my Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I have completed four and a half years of classes and 12 months of internships. I ended up with an official total of 987 hours over the last 4 quarters of my internships (and practicum, which is the first quarter of internship). I don't have all my grades in for the last quarter of my internship, but currently have a 98% in my class and am only waiting for one more grade, so it's pretty safe to say that I graduated with a 4.0 GPA. I wrapped up my internship experience while in a client session with the first couple I ever officially worked with, which I thought was very appropriate. 

This has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it has also been one of the most rewarding. I have learned so much about myself through this experience and I am so much closer to what I want to be. The sacrifices and effort were absolutely worth it.

I am now waiting for my final transcript to be ready and to get my score back from my mft exam. If I passed the exam, I should be a LMFTA (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate) around the end of July. I have to do 3000 hours of work under a supervisor, then I can apply to be a LMFT. I'm continuing to work with Mark, who has offered me a position as an independent contractor. I'll be able to work as many or as few hours as I want to (although I've learned that is controlled by my clients to a large extent). In exchange for a percentage of what I charge my clients, he's letting me use an office and providing supervision. I'm going to continue working with the LifeSTAR groups that I've been working with as well. Private practice is the holy grail of MFTs and usually is really hard to get into. I feel so incredibly blessed that I have pretty much been handed this opportunity on a silver platter. I love the LifeSTAR program and Mark is one of the most amazing therapists I've ever met and I am so lucky to get to continue to work with him.

If I could handpick the perfect life for me right now it would be being married to Rob, with our six amazing kids making every day fun and rewarding, while getting to work at a job I love where I can make a difference with a supervisor that is on my list of my favorite people ever (Mark). As my heart issue is part of our life, my perfect life would also include someone that would love my children and would do the things I wish I could do with them. I am so blessed.

Thank you to each of you who have helped me get here. Especially thank you to Rob, who has been an unwavering support through the last five and half years. I could not have made it if it wasn't for you. I love you!

Travis!!!

We were lucky enough to get a visit from Travis just a few weeks after our visit from Susie and Drew. We haven't seen him in a year and we loved spending time with him. We started off the visit with a turkey pie dinner. Turkey pie is something we've only found in New England (not turkey pot pie - these pies only have meat and gravy under the crust). Kiki brought home two large frozen turkey pies the last time she visited MA and she thoughtfully shared them with us :) It was one of our favorite meals growing up, so it was nice to have three of us there enjoying it together.

I had to work Monday night, but Travis joined us for dinner and spent some time with Rob and the kids after I left for work. I had Tuesday off, so we spent some time with Travis that afternoon and then headed to Jojo's pool that evening. It was only about 82*, meaning it was super cold for a Texas summer, but we went swimming anyway. I tried to get into the pool gradually, but Rob pulled me in and would have dunked me if I hadn't been holding Laura.

Laura and Eva got cold fairly quickly, so they got out and cuddled together until they dried off most of the way and could run around the edge of the pool. 

Rob's superhero pose, warranted  by learning to dive for the diving ring in 10 feet of water.

Travis spent a lot of time working with Beth on floating on her back. 

We had to stop by Sonic on the way home and get half price milkshakes (and half price cheeseburgers).

 

We had to say good bye to Trav that night, but hopefully we'll see him again soon! He was just accepted to grad school in SLC and starts in the fall - yay Travis!!!!

School's Out!!!

I actually made it to the elementary school to take pictures on the last day! Kala made it so much easier by having me drop Eva and Laura off with her to take naps.

Just a quick sidenote here - Kala is such an amazing blessing in our lives. I don't know what we would do without her. She loves the kids and the kids love her. She takes amazing care of them and does all the things with them that I used to do, but don't have the energy for anymore. She takes them on walks and to the park and plays outside with them and bakes cookies with them and does fun craft stuff with them like making giant bubbles from a recipe off of pinterest. She reads stories to them and sings them to sleep for naptime and cooks them hot lunches. We are so blessed to have her! And we love having Patrick (her son) in our lives as well. Eva and Laura (and the other four kids) love playing with him and Jack actually gets to have a part-time brother :) Having Kala watch the kids 15 hours a week makes it possible for Rob and I to still spends lots of time with them, but gives them time to do the active parenting activities that I think are so important, but can't do anymore. Thank you Kala! We love you!!!!

Anyway . . .

This was Kylie's third and last year with Mrs. Brooks. Mrs. Brooks was her teacher in 2nd grade and moved up with her for 3rd and then 4th. She has been an amazing teacher for Kylie and we're so glad Kylie got her for three years! I'm really hoping Jack ends up with her as I think that would be a good fit :)

We also took pictures with each of the kids' best friends.

Kylie and Cindy

Kylie and Kim (Kylie's very best friend this year)

Kylie and Alondra

And of course we had to get a picture with Kylie and Caitlin. They have been friends since they were three. 

Beth had Mrs. Foster this year. We love Mrs. Foster (Megan had her for 1st grade) and she was a wonderful teacher to Beth.

Beth had two best friends in school this year, but didn't get a picture with Chloe as Chloe's mom had already taken Chloe home. Beth also continues to be best friends with Maia, even though Maia moved out of state 18 months ago. They keep in touch through phone calls.

Beth and Caitlin

Jack had Mrs. Donohue this year. She did a great job as his teacher and we were so glad we got to know her!

Jack's best friend this year was Ella Kate. According to Jack "she had a lot in common with me and she always knew what I was talking about".

His other best friend was Pierce. Yes, Jack is a bit short :) Both Rob and I were short until some point in high school.

Even though I didn't get to go take pictures of Megan and her teachers and friends (that isn't really done in middle school apparently), we took pictures of all the kids once they were all home.

Megan's favorite teachers this year were Mrs. Dominguez (her Language Arts teacher) and Mrs. Flurry (her social studies teacher). Her best friends this year are Paula (who has been her best friend since kindergarten), Olivia, Allison, and Trent (all of whom she met this year). She also really likes Raina and Allie from church.

We made a small end of the year gift for each teacher (including art teachers, music teachers, gym teachers, librarians, front desk ladies, etc). We put a marshmallow, two graham crackers, and a small hershey's bar in a bag with a tag that read "we need s'more teachers like you!" and had the kids decorate the tags and write short notes. Since Mrs. Brooks had been Kylie's teacher for three years, we also got her an Amazon gift card and Kylie wrote her a special note.

Trot Trot to Boston

I love that our lives are filled with moments like this! Meg has Eva, Beth has Laura, and Kylie has Jack.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Unfortunately Susie and Drew could only stay a few days.

Saturday morning, Susie and Drew got up early to spend time with the kids. They made sugar cookies and, at the kids' request, packed a picnic lunch and walked to the park to eat it (at 9am). 

Then they said good bye to the munchkins and Rob and I took them out to get Mexican food for lunch (being from CA, Drew really likes good Mexican food, which TX has). Megan babysat for us (we LOVE that she is now old enough to do that!). We can't wait to have them come back and see us! Thank you guys so much for coming down!!! We love you :)

This is what we came home to . . .