Ready For a New Week

I am not a big fan of last week. It was less than fabulous; however, we did get some updates that need to be chronicled.

I had a cardiologist appointment. For most of July (after I got over the GI bleed) I actually felt pretty normal, which was really, really nice. Around the beginning of August, I started feeling worse again. We hoped it was just a temporary fluke, but it didn't go away. Once again, we were having to leave church in the middle of a service because my heart started acting up. We started having to cut our grocery trips short because I got all wonky. That hadn't happened since May.

My blood pressure looked good (107/62), and there were no significant changes to my EKG, but my echocardiogram showed that things had gotten a bit worse. First of all, my episodes of PVC (where my heart contracts before it fills with blood) have gotten more common, meaning that they are happening closer together. I could tell that just from watching. That's about all I can tell from watching. After the echo was done, the dr was tied up with another patient, so the tech talked to me for a bit. I asked him what my EF (the percentage of blood pumped out with each beat) was, and he said it's gotten worse and is now at about 40. When I was first diagnosed, it was around 45; at my last appointment, it was 50/55.

My cardiologist came in and looked at the echo. He frowned and said there is no reason why I should be getting worse (although technically, I don't think they actually know why I developed this in the first place, but anyway), so he was going to say it was the same. Rob thinks he doesn't discuss bad news with clients because his clients are at a higher risk of heart attack, so why stress them out. Then he checked to make sure my beta blockers (the meds that slow my heart down) were maxed out (they were), doubled my ACE inhibitors, made sure I was taking my diuretic daily (I am), and added another diuretic, which made me think he's thinking congestive heart failure. CHF is very common with PPCM (the type of heart disease I have). It is where your lungs and chest fill up with fluid because your heart isn't functioning well enough to get it out.

I started my new meds/doses Friday night to give me the weekend to get used to them. As usual, the first 24 hours were difficult. I'm really hoping it gets better by tomorrow because I have to work and therefore have to drive. I seem to adjust within about 48 hrs usually, so hopefully I'm fine tomorrow. I only have three more weeks of my practicum and I'd really hate to have to repeat the whole thing. We've thought about postponing my internships, but I am only 7 months away from graduation. If I drop out now, I lose 5 years of work and flush all the $ we've spent on grad school down the drain.

We got some more bad news yesterday. Leah, my friend who was diagnosed with brain cancer a year ago, is not doing well. Initially they gave her 2-3 months to live, so I flew out to see her just after Laura was born. She responded well to treatment though and started doing a lot better. I was really hopeful that she would somehow beat this, at least for several years. Unfortunately, the cancer is back and very aggressive and not responding to treatment any more. She no longer has any short-term memory and is being moved to a facility that can care for her for the short time she has left.

I am so glad I got to spend time with her last year and that I have been lucky enough to have her as a friend for the past 23 years.

So enough of that . . .

Good things that happened last week -

Megan had 50 million back to school things. We had to get her schedule and buy her PE uniforms and get her picture taken for her student ID. Then we had to go get her netbook that is provided by the school district for each middle schooler (the high schoolers get tablets this year). Rob, Beth, Eva, and Megan attended a pep rally for Meg's school on Friday and Megan was assigned a locker and met her teachers. We also bought Megan clear lip gloss that she will be allowed to wear to school this year. She seems ready for this, but I don't know if I am :)

The one glitch with Meg this week was discovering that they didn't put her in art. I swear I wrote it down on her form, but they said we signed up for "wheel" (which is where they switch specials every 6 weeks - one term of drama, one of choir, etc). Changing her to art will change her entire schedule. I left the choice up to her and she really wants art, so we're going to try to get that changed on the first day of school.

Jack, Beth, and Kylie also had a back to school night and found out who their teachers are. Jack's teacher is Mrs. Donahue, one that somehow none of our kids have had yet (with 4 kids in the same school, there aren't that many teachers that fall into that category). Beth has Mrs. Foster, who was Meg's 1st grade teacher (she's now teaching 2nd grade - they switch around a lot) and is one of our favorite teachers ever. Kylie has two teachers (3rd and 4th have two), but her homeroom teacher is Mrs. Brooks, who has been her teacher for the last two years :) Mrs. Brooks was supposed to teach kindergarten this year, but they didn't have enough incoming kindergartners to need that many teachers, so they moved her up to 4th grade. We love Mrs. Brooks and are very happy that Kylie gets to have her again!

Somehow the summer is over. School starts Tuesday. I feel like I blinked and it was gone. I remember summers lasting forever when I was a child, but it sure doesn't feel like that now. I always miss having all the kids home all day, but I really enjoy the structure the school year brings to our lives.

Last weekend we switched kids bedrooms around for the new school year. Middle school doesn't start until almost 2 hours after elementary school, so Meg can sleep in. Megan had been sharing a bedroom with Kylie, Beth and Eva had been sharing one, Jack had his own, and Laura was still in ours. We switched Beth and Megan, and put Eva in Jack's room with him. Laura is now sleeping in her crib in Megan's room. This set up allows Megan to have her own room for the most part because Laura only uses it for sleeping. It will hopefully let her sleep in a bit later and she won't keep the other kids up if we let her stay up a bit later. Kylie and Beth seem to be loving it and Jack is thrilled that he finally gets to share a bedroom with someone. Eva's a good choice for bunking with Jack as she doesn't put up with his teasing; she just beats him up if he tries anything. The other girls get upset about it.

For the first time ever, we have kids actually sleeping on the top bunks. It's been a long time since we enforced having the kids sleep in their assigned beds. They like making beds on the floor or making nests out of their blankets and all sleeping together or at least sleeping in pairs. We decided we needed to get more strict about it though, so each child now has an assigned bed all to his or herself and they don't get to switch. It's working out beautifully and kids are going to bed more easily and staying asleep all night (except Laura, who wakes up once or twice to eat still). Yay! I feel like so many parts of our schedule have fallen apart over the last three years (for good reason); it's nice to feel like we're getting back to where I want to be.

School starts Tuesday, Brittney will be here Saturday, and Laura turns one (!!!) on Monday (a week from tomorrow), so busy week coming up! :)

Jacky is Six!!!

Jack was next on our birthday list and this year he turned 6! He is an amazing little boy and we are so lucky to have him in our family! He has a wonderful sense of humor and is amazingly sweet. He loves slipping in beside me as I do homework or work and cuddling up next to me. Every time we go for a walk or walk to school, he always is sure to pick me flowers (the girls often do that too, but Jack does it every time). He is a ball of energy and keeps life interesting :) We are so blessed to have him as part of our family!!! Happy birthday Jack-jack! We love you!!!

Jack decided rather than buying dinner, he wanted hot dogs with a side of mac and cheese for his birthday dinner (those are his favorite foods along with hamburgers we cook at home). We had little peppers as well. Rob took him on a daddy date the night before to pick out a cake at Kroger (I am just not up to homemade cakes this year) and he picked a double layered chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. He got a red power ranger figure (his favorite power ranger - the kids have been watching all the old power ranger shows on netflix this summer and are very into power rangers at the moment) and a set comprised of a light up samurai sword and space gun, complete with sound effects.

Waiting to open presents (a pirate sword is a very necessary accessory at times like these) -

With his red power ranger -

His samurai sword and space gun set -  

Blowing out his candles (we found some of the other candles that had been missing) -

Christmas in August

Aunt Kate took off for one of her fabulous and envy provoking vacations (I believe she hit Iceland, Ireland, Scotland, and England this time), but before she left, she put together an amazing package for the kids. Every child had a "Christmas" present, complete with snowman wrapping paper. It was the highlight of the kids' week! The presents were things like books and art supplies and they spent the rest of the day happily painting and drawing and reading.

You're awesome Kate! Thank you so much! We love you and hope your vacation was wonderful :)

Megan Turns 11!!!

Eeek! Where did time go? I can't believe my oldest baby is eleven and will be in middle school this year! She is getting so grown up! We are so proud of who she is and who she is becoming :) She is intelligent and compassionate and beautiful and we are so lucky to have her as part of our family! Megs, we love you!

Megan picked Chinese take-out for dinner. We picked up her best friend Paula as well :) She got "I can be a pancake maker" Barbie (the top thing on her list for some reason) from us and jewelry from Paula. She also got a big shoe box of Barbie accessories that I used to play with as a child. She's been wanting that box for years, but had to prove to us that she would take care of them and not leave them out where little sisters could eat them (a lot of the stuff is really small and pointy and would not make a fabulous meal).

She picked out a white sheet cake with white frosting and multicolored candies. We decided to only put one candle in the cake because the kids had been using the candles for something and we could only find a few. Twelve candles (one for good luck) would have been harder to blow out anyway :)

She and Paula and Daddy are going out to see the new Percy Jackson movie next week (we're running a bit behind).

Random Summer Photos

I haven't posted almost any photos this summer. I actually haven't taken many between work and not feeling fantastic. Plus I can't find our camera. My phone takes wonderful photos from a distance in low light, but for some reason all the pictures I take under other condition turn out overexposed or blue or something. Anyway . . .

Laura loves cuddling with Rob. She had fallen asleep on our bed. When Rob laid down beside her to take a nap, she woke up just enough to roll onto his arm :)

The kids love watching survival shows with Rob and their games now reflect this. Here they are ready to go hiking in the Alaska wilderness. So what if it was 105* out? 

Note: as long as you have a coat, long pants and shoes are optional . . .

Meg and Laura (Megan went to a water park with a friend and forgot to put sunscreen on her shoulders, so she was a bit burned, hence the reason for the sundress without straps) - 

 Eva figured out how to wrap her hair in a towel like Mommy. She was so proud of herself!

Horrible exposure, but I thought it was funny. Laura propped her bottle up on my end table so she could drink while playing without having to let go of her toys -

One of our very favorite people came by the other day. We hadn't seen him in about a decade. He was one of a pair of missionaries that we became really good friends with when we lived in RI. Megan took her first steps between him and Blake (the other missionary). He was in town (sort of - about 3 hours away) for business and drove up to hang out with us for an evening :) You know how there are some people that no matter how long it is between when you see each other, you pick up right where you left off? Brady is one of those for us and it was wonderful to get to spend a few hours talking with him!

16 Years!

16 years ago today I made the best decision of my life and married my best friend :) Six kids and what seems like a million miles later, he is still the last person I want to talk to before I go to bed at night and the first face I want to see when I wake up. My favorite place to be is still wrapped in his arms and there is no one I'd rather spend time with. No matter what life throws at us, I know I can make it because he's beside me. I love you Rob! Happy Anniversary!!!

It's Not Fair

I know I have a lot to catch up on. The last half of summer is always really busy for us. Rob's birthday, then Megan's a week later, then Jack's two weeks after that, followed by our anniversary 3 days after Jack's birthday, then school starts within the next two weeks, then Laura's birthday (I can't believe my baby is almost one!!!). I'll post pictures tomorrow.

I wanted to get this thought down. I had to call my cardiologist today . . . again. I had been feeling much better (other than the GI bleed, etc, which was unrelated), but a week ago my heart started acting up again and it's not getting better, so back to the doctor I go. When I was talking to the nurse, she made the comment that it wasn't fair that I had to deal with this. She's right. But what exactly is fair?

The past several months have been a dizzying mix of highs and lows for us. No, it's not fair that I have to deal with this stupid heart thing. I didn't do anything to cause it. There are some other issues we are dealing with now too and I didn't do anything to cause those either. I am missing out on a lot of things that are really, really important to me. And there is nothing I, personally, can do about it.

On the other hand though . . .

We've gone swimming pretty much every week this summer. We eat an early dinner, load the kids in the car, and head over to Jojo's (thank you Jojo!). Last summer Rob and Kylie learned to swim. This summer we're working on Beth and Jack. Tonight Beth swam the whole length of the pool several times and jumped off the diving board multiple times without floaties! Swimming at night eliminates the 30 minutes it takes for me to slather everyone with sunscreen, plus then Rob can go with us. Another plus is that shakes at Sonic are half-price after 8pm, so we always stop and get shakes on the way home. Eva's favorite is peanut butter and bacon. The other kids mix it up (Jack's favorite part is the cherry on top), except Megan, who gets hot fudge so that there are no chunks to block up her straw. Then we roll the windows down on the way home. The warm air is perfect when you are wearing a wet bathing suit. We turn on music like the Bangles and the Eurythmics and we all sing along, especially Eva, who is very into singing at the moment (her favorite song is Justin Beiber's "Baby" - I have no idea where she first heard it, but it is much more palpable when she sings along to it). Everyone's mouths are full of milkshake, and everyone is tired from swimming, so no one is fighting. They are Kinkade moments. A snapshot of a few minutes in life that are completely perfect.

It's not fair that I have that either.

I remember the five years it took us before we had Megan. Five years of desperately wanting children and not being able to have them. Last Sunday we filled a whole row of seats with all our kids (and Laura doesn't even sit in her own seat yet). I looked over at Rob at one point and Eva was on one of his knees, while Laura was sprawled in his other arm. It's not fair that we ended up with six amazing children and others given the same diagnosis (PCOS - I was told I could never have children) still don't even have one.

So I have decided, for me, that life is not about fairness. It is about valuing the amazing parts of my life, learning from the horrid parts, and allowing the hard parts to help me learn to better appreciate the wonderful parts.